Don't question the why. Appreciate the WOW!

 Willow Tree Dancing Couple | Angie Corbett Kuiper

When we are stuck in the past, we are incapable of appreciating the now-the present moment.  We lament, we regret, we feel guilty, we mourn, and we grieve. It’s almost as if we are living a life ready to die ourselves. 

We miss the joy that presents in the moment because we are so focused on yesterday.

Similarly, when we anticipate and search for something that hasn’t yet happened and spend our time focused on the what-ifs, we are unable to appreciate the now.  We are unable to just be and miss the joy that unfolds before our very eyes.  We miss out on these moments because we are so focused on tomorrow.  Famous teachers and modern-day prophets with brilliant messages speak of living in the moment.  Doing so is to surrender to what is, not what wasn’t or what may or may never be.  The present moment is all we have. 

Death often forces those left behind to sit still.  Grief can paralyze anyone left in its wake.  Those who choose to move forward will most likely witness the signs, symbols, and coincidences that offer reassurance and evidence that our loved ones are still present just not in the physical realm.  Those who choose to lament and grieve in endless suffering will most likely miss the healing opportunities which will present. It is only in present moment awareness that miracles occur.

This evening I lit a candle and took it to my bedroom. I placed it on the dresser in front of my treasured Willow Tree figurine - a couple holding one another, delicately carved of wood by Susan Lordi. I looked up and smiled, because there in front of me on the wall, the flickering candle provided the romantically lit backdrop for the couple who appeared to be dancing in their own little world.

When I placed the candle where I did, I wasn’t thinking to myself, “Oh, I wonder what kind of sign I can find today. I wonder if I will receive a sign from Nick or Jan.”  No!  I was just very present at that very moment as I placed the candle carefully on my dresser and smiled softly with gratitude for the bittersweet memory of the physical loss of a love.

Breathing in the comforting warm smell of vanilla, I watched the flicker of the golden flame.  I noticed something else as well.  The man seemed to have wings.  Of course, skeptics will say, “That’s just the shadow of his shoulder.” It is my belief that the ego and analytical part of our brain begins to reason away the joy and peace the symbol might represent at that moment in time.  I am finding in my work that most people struggle unnecessarily in grief because they overanalyze and spend too much time in their own heads.  The signs present, at least in my experience, when I’m not in my head thinking but just appreciating. - just witnessing and surrendering to what is.

If I were to logically dissect the why I would never appreciate the WOW.

There is no logical explanation for many deaths and why they happen to one and not another.  This evening, I am just so thankful that I wasn’t over-thinking, or trying to manipulate my outcome.  I would have missed the angel holding his lover close and dancing silently to the music of the flickering flame.

Interesting to note here as well, when I was visiting England in May, I was introduced to an evidenced-based medium who I wanted to consult for my research.  She helps solve crimes for the police from the standpoint of the deceased victims.  During this meeting, she said, “Pay attention to a candle." Then she asked me, "Do you like candles?” “Oh yes!” I replied.  She continued, "You will know he is there with you when you see the flickering of the candle.  It will be unusual.”

Six months later the candle cast that beautiful shadow and gave me the opportunity to say, "WOW!"  Those who desire instant gratification would have surely written off the medium’s message either because the sign didn’t appear instantaneously, or they have closed their mind to the possibility of anything that might contradict their current belief system.  

I didn't analyze that moment.  I did not allow my analytical left-brain to sabotage it.  I appreciated the moment, the symbol, and the sign. It was what it was.  And at that moment I was grateful that I didn’t question the why.  Instead, I appreciated the WOW!