Judging F.U.C.K.


“You did not just say that!!!”

Oh yes, I did! When we hear the word “FUCK,” we assume that persons’ belief around the word is the same as ours. If you’re like me, at one time I believed that the word was vile, evil and wrong. In creating this vivid image of what “fuck” looked like, any time it was used in conversation, a movie, or via social media I would tend to only hear the word and my association with it rather than the message.

I began to see that my judgment was not solely contained to just this four letter word. It became a harsh reality of judging the messenger and not the message.

I want to illustrate a point. We judge. We judge people, their words, their looks, their opinions, etc. based on our own beliefs. We live and thrive in this judgment and allow ourselves to continue down the fruitless path of trying to teach everyone who will listen why our belief is the “right” one. We defend our belief as if our very lives depend upon it because we are so adamant in proving how right we are.

Silly us, when will we realize that trying to change someone else is only exhausting and futile?

If only we could let go of our own perceived beliefs and not attach any emotion to it. If only we could accept the word as only a word- I believe our minds would be quieter. We would be more at peace because we wouldn’t exude so much energy trying to prove that our belief is right. The Second Noble Truth of the Four Noble Truths created by Siddhartha Gautama or The Buddha is something that resonates with me. This truth tells us that, “The origin of suffering comes from attachment.” We needlessly suffer when we choose to become so attached to a word, belief, religion, a story, even people and their choices.

We have attached a belief based on our perception of this word.  After coming face to face with my judgment of “fuck,” I now have a healthy relationship with it. When I use “fuck" in my conversations, I preface it by mentioning that I am using it for emphasis. My experience when this word is spoken or rather shouted is that it feels good. It is cathartic, and it heals, it renews. It turns heads. This word demands attention! It raises eyebrows. Go ahead try it! Create your own experience with the word fuck. I challenge you. What if your own experience comes from a new belief that you created, that maybe the definition of F.U.C.K is simply “For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge?”

Find out what your own belief is about this simple four-letter word, why you do or do not find it offensive, and where it came from.  Did your belief come from you or did it come from someone else and their belief system? I challenge you to delve into this belief about such a seemingly innocuous word connected by just 4 of the 26 letters of the alphabet to create such an emotion within yourself. I also invite you to look at all of the beliefs and judgments that you have about everything. I ask you again is it your truth? When we fight to be right, we fight to prove the other person wrong creating tension, hostility, anger, and even war.

The takeaway here is that if we all quit judging everything and everyone so harshly, and allow words and beings to simply just be, we just might begin to live more peacefully, but it all starts with a fucking “peace” within ourselves.


Angie Corbett-Kuiper