Be a Welcome Mat, Not a Door Mat

 

Are you a people pleaser?  Yes, I know who I am.  I want to say no instead I say yes.  I want
to say go away, you do not hold me in my highest and best interest, yet I continue to be your friend.  I do things because I feel affirmed when I make you happy even though it is killing me inside!  I take better care of complete strangers than I do myself.  How can I possibly expect love to present to me when I don’t even know what it is to love myself?

Do any of you feel this way?  I am learning to become aware.  I am learning to feel.  I am learning to set boundaries with myself that I will no longer allow others to cross.  I was told once, that to tell someone what we need is a gift of the truest kind.  But we don’t.  We are afraid it might hurt someone else.

I am learning to tell people what I desire, and if others choose not to be my friend because I do not do as they say or wish, then they were truly never my friend.  My teaching begins with self-love, self-care.  You know the saying; the one that is said too often, probably to make us feel guilty for loving ourselves? “Love thy neighbor as thyself?”

“Love yourself first, and your neighbor will love you.”

Stop being a people pleaser, stop!  I want to be a welcome mat opposed to a doormat.  I want to welcome only those who hold my highest and best interest.  I do not want those to enter in whose presence I feel judged, ridiculed and worthless.

I allow these people to push their way in, wiping their feet all over me and leaving only their dirt on me from the bottom of their shoes.  These people, whom I called my friends, have no respect for my boundaries because I don’t have any.  I needed to stop allowing others to walk on me, instead, only welcome those who appreciate me, and accept me for who I am, not for what I can do for their fragile ego.  I want to attract love and not manipulation.  For until now?  I didn't even know there was a difference.

To overcome the disease of people pleasing, we need to attract what feels good, not what feels good for someone else! We need to love ourselves first, and then we are free to love others deeply and with intention.  Unconditionally. Once we can love ourselves and care deeply for ourselves; we will be in such a better place to love one another; and attract the life and love we ultimately desire; a life and love we ultimately deserve.

Join me live –   Listen to Outside the Box Radio – Live Monday’s 11a EST

 

 
Angie Corbett-Kuiper